Pet Grief and Pet Mourning - Aren't They the Same?
01/14/2008
What is the difference between pet grief and pet mourning? Grieving the loss of our pets and loved ones is very difficult. Where does one begin? How does one move through grief? Often, we assume that grieving and mourning are the same thing, but there is a very important, and helpful, distinction to draw between the two. People move towards healing more quickly when they are able to both mourn and to grieve.
Grief
Grief
Grief is our thoughts and feelings. Grief embodies the feelings that we experience and the thoughts that we go through when we lose someone we love.
Mourning
Mourning is action. The actions that we take to express our thoughts and our feelings outside of ourselves help us to move through our grief towards healing more quickly. If we don't have an understanding of this distinction, many of us find it difficult to experience healing because we get stuck in our grief (our thoughts and feelings), and fail to go an important step further, and actually mourn. We're often conditioned by society and culture not to express our grief outwardly, but instead to grieve alone, and keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves in isolation. To help you to move towards mourning, here are some actions you can take:
- Explore different books on grieving until you find some that really speak to you.
- Offer your shoulder to others who are grieving. It’s helpful to take the focus off of yourself.
- The love and presence of a loved one is powerful. Choose someone who cares for you deeply to spend time with you. They don't need to say anything or talk about your grief with you.
- Write out a list of the things that your pet did that made you laugh out loud.
- Without judgment, write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal.
- Commemorate the life of your dear pet with a pet memorial. There are so many ways to do this: plant a tree in their honor and lay a pet grave marker underneath it, find a lovely pet urn, have an artist create a custom pet portrait, keep photos, toys and collar in a pet keepsake box.
Most important of all, be thankful for the beautiful love and friendship that you and your furry friend shared. And remember that mourning takes a different course and a different amount of time for everyone, so be patient with yourself and your healing.
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